How Abuse Feels Different in a Queer Relationship
Abuse feels different in LGBTQ+ relationships. It may have been different for you, but here’s how it felt different for me:
I really believed I was safer with a partner who wasn’t a man. They weren’t THAT much bigger than me. I had never heard of abuse happening in same sex relationships so it didn’t cross my mind.
You are afraid people won’t believe you if you share what’s really going on behind closed doors. It’s a common misconception that only men can abuse women (when in reality abuse knows no gender). Many people abused in queer relationships have reported this same feeling and have even been dismissed when attempting to get help from the police.
You WANT it to work. If you’re a late bloomer like me and this is your first queer relationship, there’s an added layer of wanting it to work out. That first queer relationship you tend to have a very strong bond (even if it’s a trauma bond) and it hurts to move on whether there is abuse or not.
You don’t want people to think it failed because it was a same sex relationship. You don’t want to hear “you should have just kept dating men” or “of course it didn’t work out. It’s not natural.”
If you have experienced abuse from more than one gender, did it feel different to you?
