No Man’s Land: Between Breakup & No Contact

From August to October 2021, I was in “no man’s land” with my abuser. We lived together and were on a lease which was not up to be broken. It was not going to be easy to get out of that situation. Here are some of the things I experienced in the sense of my ex trying to “keep me around.”

-saying we should try to stay friends and keep things amicable (this means YOU have to stay amicable but they don’t)

-ALMOST convincing me that we should still go to couple’s therapy since we still lived together (RUN)

-saying they would like to still be able to see and be a “parent” to my son

-saying we should share my dog/that they should keep my dog because “that’s what’s best”

-saying we should try to keep living together because that would be “easier” for everyone

-comments like “I have nowhere else to go,” “I can’t afford to live alone here,” “I don’t think you can take care of the kiddo/dogs without me,” etc

All of these things serve to keep a connection between you and the abuser. Many of us can’t get out of these situations quickly, but my advice is to untangle yourself as quickly as possible (if it’s safe to do so), and get yourself and your kiddos out as soon as possible.